When bad things happen to those who least deserve it. It's part of life
Life is such a strange thing. We can be happy about it one minute then sad about it the next. Sometimes, it’s when things happen to others that we are affected. Perhaps we think that the other person didn’t deserve their good fortune or that the terrible things that happened to them shouldn’t have happened.
But, no matter our opinion on the matter, people that do bad things will have good things happen for them. And people who do good things will have bad things happen to them. Of course, things tend to balance out because inevitably, we reap what we sow, even after we are gone. This is because the legacy we leave behind designates how history will describe us.
“The great use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.” —William James
But why do bad things happen to good people
This question has been bothering me for the past twenty-four hours. Why is it that people who never did anything really bad sometimes get themselves into horrible situations? Or, why would something tragic befall them?
You see, I have a best friend who is beautiful, intelligent, and someone I truly admire for her goodness and tender-heartedness.
Over a year ago, she gave birth to a baby girl. Within one hour of her birth, the little girl passed away from heart complications. We all grieved because she had been looking forward to the birth of her daughter with impatience.
Months later, she got pregnant again and this time it was a boy.
He was born about 5 months ago; a gurgly, ruddy-cheeked infant with gorgeous ringlets, sparkling ebony eyes, and the most adorably innocent expression on his round face.
He had a few health complications at first, but these were cleared up and he was sent home with a clean bill of health.
Twenty-four hours ago, I got a text message from a friend telling me that the beautiful little boy had passed away.
My heart broke. Not again! I thought. It’s impossible, there’s been a mistake. She can’t have that happen to her twice!
It can’t be, i’m in shock
I kept hoping and wishing that this awful news was like the plot twist in a movie that leaves us hanging. But, then we are made to realize that this was some kind of misunderstanding by a secondary character and it all turns out ok in the end. No one is harmed.
But, that was not the case.
Her sister confirmed my worse fears and I realized that this was real life, not something that someone had written in a script that could be easily manipulated so that our emotions could be swayed back to being happy for the person.
I could not control my grief for her.
I felt like somehow or the other, she was being cheated out of some kind of special blessing in life; that she was too much of a good person for something so awful to have happened to her not once, but twice.
I sent her my condolences, wishing I could go to the hospital, hug her and tell her that everything would be fine, despite everything. But, due to the current health restrictions in our COVID-19 aware environment, I could not.
I spoke to my mom on the phone about it. We grieved together. I told her it wasn’t fair, that some people suffer so much. That I think she deserved better and that both her babies should have survived.
Words of wisdom
But, my mother is wise and has lived longer than me. She told me something that made me stop in my tracks.
“You don’t get to chose that,” she said. “You can’t decide what should and shouldn’t happen to somebody else. Life decides that. It presents people with choices and they decide what they want from there. In other cases, it’s different. You cannot choose to not have cancer or to not have some other disease. Something else decides that, whether you’re good or bad. There are millions of people living in all kinds of imaginable situations out there, and they didn’t choose for anything bad to happen to them. The same way that you can’t always choose when something good happens, either. Bad things will always happen, but good things will always happen too. It has nothing to do with the character of the person, it’s just the way it is sometimes. This is life.”
I pondered on that all day yesterday, a lump in my throat.
So true, yet so frustrating.
We cannot decide that we will stop all the bad things from happening to others, just because we feel it is not deserved.
Life is not about that.
It’s about living. It’s about experiencing good things, but also about experiencing bad things too.
Darkness VS light
Both create a sort of dynamic that you can’t escape. You need one to balance the other. Just because a person has a character that we deem worthy of only happy events ends up with a sad event is not always dependent on their personality.
If it’s always sunny, how can you handle the rain, when it comes? Because, much as almost everyone prefers sun, too much of it can cause us to wither. And so, it rains sometimes to freshen us up, to give us that ability to enjoy what we had when it was sunny.
Whether we like it or not, rain almost always comes.
Sometimes, that’s just life.
There are exceptions, always
Let me backtrack, here.
Truthfully, a murderer or a thief can end up in a bad place. But, this is because their choice of actions led them to that point. A person that has been struggling financially can end up becoming a multi-millionaire. So, yes sometimes, you can choose how things can happen for you.
But, and there is always that “but”, there are all too often times when you can’t choose.
Getting run over by a car? You certainly would not choose that. Getting a huge reward for finding someone’s dog? Not something you could necessarily choose either.
Life is complex, and the events that surround our lives are equally complex. There are no ways to pull all the right strings all of the time.
Knowing all these things, my heart goes out to my friend, knowing that she is just human and that what happened to her could have happened to anyone. It has nothing to do with deserving or not deserving anything.
If you’re alive, good and bad things will happen to you
Misfortunes happen and they shape us as human beings. They make our characters become deeper and stronger.
This is because we are alive, and this means that we never stop changing, growing, evolving into different versions of ourselves every time an emotionally taxing event takes place.
“Every test in our life makes us bitter or better, every problem comes to break us or make us.” Anonymous Sometimes we can’t understand the whys behind certain situations. And that’s ok. We were not put on this planet to analyze every single thing that happens to us. We were put on this planet to enjoy life; the good part of it as well as the bad. Negatives and positives will always walk one step away from each other, as long as we’re alive. They are complements to each other, even in Nature. The moon comes out at night, and the sun shines during the day, both providing a different kind of light, but light nevertheless.
Let’s make the best of it and remember that anything can happen at any time. We are living creatures and we are not immune to the vagaries of life and its uncertainties.