How you can learn to stop taking things personally all the time

Maybe you are coming home, after a long day at work. You have supper, watch TV, do a bit of browsing, and hit the bed.

That’s when it hits you.

Maybe you are leaving a party. You come home, take a shower and lie down to rest,

That’s when it amplifies.

Maybe you spent the day taking care of the kids, taking care of your significant other, and finally, get a chance to take it easy. The bed looks comfortable, yet you know what will happen the second that you put your head down on that pillow.

The wheel starts spinning. A tornado of thoughts begins to take over what should be a restful time. A time to recuperate.

Damn, my brain is wide awake.

You feel a ball on your solar plexus, pushing in, making a hole in your chest. Thoughts are racing.

Was it a look someone gave you when you were at the party?. An insensitive opinion a family member voiced? A boss that you can’t please?

Human interaction is complicated.

But when you take a step back, it can be simplified. You can get rid of anxiety and most of all, remember this simple rule: It’s almost NEVER personal.

It’s actually simple math.

Probabilities

Step back and look at the logical side of things. Look at the probability of a situation being personal or not.

If I had to guesstimate a number on how many negative interactions out there are actually truly personal, I would tell you that 97% of the time, it actually has nothing to do with you. If you understand and apply this, you will realize that the anxiety that you feel is a trigger. Triggers have a way of distorting reality.

Everyone is living their life. Maybe, someone grew up with a family that swears a lot, and so when they swear, they don’t see how it could negatively impact a sensitive person. Maybe someone is having a really hard time paying their bills, and as they are slowly approaching the cashier with their groceries, looking at their phone’s calculator, they don’t realize that they are holding up a line. Maybe your boss just had a talk with his five bosses above him, and just got told off for low performance.

Part of getting rid of anxiety is with proper communication.

Communicating and active listening is key.

If you do this properly, you will soon realize that there are many factors at play and that things are not as personal as you thought they were.

Beyond that, the anxiety felt within has no purpose and you will need to train yourself to recognize when it’s not necessary, not real.

It might be difficult at first to put anxiety aside and look at the probability with logic, but this is what you need to train your mind to do. Look back and see the situation from the other perspective.

How did this person grow up, what kind of pressure are they under, do they have any mental health sicknesses, were they raised by very controlling parents, were they raised really rich, were they raised really poor. This doesn’t mean that their reaction is correct, or that you should take abuse in any way. But this will help you understand which will also help you have a better reaction.

Breathe

Breathing acts as a communication system between your body and your brain. If you breathe fast or take short breaths, your body might interpret it as if you were in some sort of danger, and will respond as it should, with the fight or flight response.

Think about how your body reacts in a scary situation. Imagine that a robber has entered your home, while you are in your room. You hear him going through your stuff downstairs. How would your body react? Will you hold your breath? Or will you breathe fast? This is a sign for your brain. Get ready to run, get ready to fight.

So when you feel anxiety, if you forget to breathe, your body will interpret this as a signal.

Slow down your breathing. Take slow, deep breaths. Tell your body that nothing is happening. Tell your brain that nothing is happening. Be aware of the present moment and cherish it.

Find an outlet to release negative energy.

This third thing that you will need to do is find a way to release this pumped up negative energy. You need to release the anxiety.

I have to tell you that even though, you might be feeling super tired, mentally exhausted, and weak, finding some sort of outlet is extremely important. Exercise is in fact extremely healthy for your body and mind. It could be as simple as going for a walk, listening to music and dancing, running, boxing, yoga, or whatever you find appealing. Another outlet would be through artistic expressions. Art therapy is proven to ease anxiety and to be excellent for mental health. Music, pet therapy, writing…Whatever makes you feel peaceful. You are important, you are your world and you have to take care of your mind and spirit. Find what makes you feel good, find a good healthy outlet.

Eat Well

You are what you eat. Your diet will also have a direct effect on how you feel. Therefore a good diet is an essential part of good mental health.

Oftentimes, when we feel anxiety, we either forget to eat, or overeat. This will act as a vicious circle. A bad diet will cause further anxiety, which will cause further bad eating habits, It’s very important to break this vicious cycle. You might actually not even think about this, and not realize that there is a direct correlation between diet and the anxiety that you feel every day, (and get easily triggered with things you consider to be personal in your everyday life). Believe me, there is. If your mind is not well fed, it will make up stories, and you will believe them. It would be a good choice if you ruled out the possibility that anxiety is caused by an unhealthy diet. Remember, getting enough protein is crucial. I have personally experienced negative interactions on several occasions with people who neglected to eat enough protein in their diets.

It’s possible to deal with anxiety, and yes, it’s possible to sleep at night. Self-control is key. Quiet your mind, know that whatever is happening out there has nothing to do with your world. It’s your decision entirely whether you choose to begin working on letting it go or not. Begin the practice of letting go. You will feel better in the long run. Be aware of the power of now.